


Waking Up

by colourblindhedgehog



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-04-21 10:46:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4826192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourblindhedgehog/pseuds/colourblindhedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just how many ways can you wake up with Ezra?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Old West

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a personal challenge - how many different ways can I write the same scene, just changing the circumstances/universe? And well, turns out it's a lot more than I thought. I got around to posting this because of my lovely M7 blog on Tumblr, 7men, which recently reached 100 followers. I love all you guys, and I hope you like it.

She wakes up with her face planted in a male chest and stays very still.

They'd had a party last night, pretty much the whole town had participated, and everyone had drunk too much and danced a good deal more than anyone had intended to and the whole affair had wrapped up a few hours before dawn. Judging by how awake she feels it's fast approaching noon, if it's not already afternoon.

Smiling slightly as she gets an idea, she starts to press kisses to his chest, blinking when her eyelashes brush his skin to give him another kind of kiss.  


She works her way up to his neck, tracing the line of his collarbone with her lips. She thinks she catches the slightest twitch of his lips but continues as though she hadn't, stretching her neck so she can cover his shoulders before moving on to his neck and jaw. When she reaches his ear with some difficulty, a lot of stretching and a bit of discrete wiggling, she pays special attention to the spot just below it and nibbles at his earlobe before working her way around to his chin.

He is definitely smiling now, eyes still closed, and she takes her time before finally touching her lips to his in the lightest, briefest of kisses, not giving him time to react. She does it again and again, always just fast enough to keep from being kissed back, watching as he gets more determined to beat her at her own game.

“You gonna kiss me back or you gonna just lie there?” she murmurs after another failed attempt to do just that. He growls slightly and finally moves, rolling over so he's lying on top of her and finding her lips, not even opening his eyes. She starts laughing mid-kiss which only increases his determination to rise to her challenge, which just makes her laugh harder, but his determination is greater that her giggles and she happily surrenders to the thorough kissing she is finally getting.

She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down so he doesn't need to spend energy and concentration keeping himself balanced that he could be using to kiss her.

She has no idea how long they lie there kissing the everloving shit out of each other and doesn't really want to. They only stop, she's quite sure, because of Nathan knocking on their door.

“Hangover remedy!” he calls out, sounding very cheerful, and Ezra reflexively groans, both because of the lingering effects of last night and the memory of just how awful that stuff tastes. It works, sure, but at what price?

“Need it?” she asks quietly as Nathan knocks again, less gently this time, and Ezra shakes his head into her shoulder. She covers his ears before answering Nathan. “We're fine!” She likes to think she matched his cheer, and is rewarded by a slightly trepidatious “You're sure?”

“Yep!”

“Aright then.” She hears his steps recede as he goes to minister to whatever other poor souls are still abed and uncovers Ezra's ears. He attacks her neck, whether in revenge or thanks she's not sure, and in a few seconds they're right back to making out.

She hears, dimly, Nathan knocking on someone else's door and calling out that he's come with his hangover remedy. Probably JD or Buck's door, they're closest, and she happily ignores the grumbling and groans from whoever Nathan's subjecting the world to until there's the sound of curtains being thrown open immediately followed by a bloodcurdling shriek of pain.  


She starts laughing even though Ezra's still kissing her, and this time there's no stopping her. it only takes a moment for Ezra's still-sleepy and preoccupied brain to catch up with hers, and when he does, he starts laughing too.

A few minutes later, through the sounds of their hysterics and the moans of probably-Buck, they hear another too-cheerful, far too loud “Good morning!” from Nathan followed by another, even higher shriek of pain, but that just means they won't be stopping any time soon.


	2. Medieval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Medieval AU. Fun fact: the songs in here are actual medieval bawdy songs. Namely, 'Nine Times a Night' and 'The Cuckoo's Nest'. They, and others, can all be found at http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/bawdy-songs/idxv14as.htm which is where I got them. Also this chapter is rather more... suggestive than the last one, and the rating's gone up to reflect that.

She wakes slowly, leisurely swimming out of the depths of warm, comfortable slumber. While she's still mostly asleep the memories come to her, reminding her of who and where and when she is, and the identity of the man she's lying comfortably against. The blankets covering them are wool and fur, there are some clothes in there too, and as she lies under them, not really awake, she works through the blurry memories of last night. High stone walls and the coats of arms she's known for years now, knows as well as the layout of the castle itself, and paired with the people they belong to and the swords that had only been put to ceremonial use, at least yesterday

She rolls over, curls closer to him, and he draws her even closer with an arm. She rubs her nose against his neck and hears him huff an almost-laugh, breath moving her hair ever so slightly.

“When do you think the party died down?”

“Doubt it has.”

“Mmm. Sneaking out was a good idea.

“Glad you liked it.” He presses a kiss to her hair and they both start to drift off to sleep again.

“AS I WAS WALKING ONE MORNING IN MAY  
I MET A PRETTY FAIR MAID AND UNTO HER DID SAY"

Ezra yelps and tries to roll out of bed but only succeeds in getting tangled in the blankets and tumbling out in slow motion, landing with a series of thumps. The singing is broken up by ill-contained giggles and continues, ragged but getting better.

“I'LL TELL YOU ME MIND, IT'S FOR LOVE I AM INCLINED”

She sticks her head over the edge of their bed

“You all right?”

“AN ME INCLINATION LIES IN YOUR CUCKOO'S NEST."

He groans in response and doesn't move.

“SOME LIKE A GIRL WHO IS PRETTY IN THE FACE.”

She lies back and relaxes after a moment she blinks a few times.

“I think that's 'Cuckoo's Nest'. Full credit for appropriate choice of music, I suppose.”

“AND SOME LIKE A GIRL WHO IS SLENDER IN THE WAIST.”

“If not for musical talent,” comes the muffled continuation from beside the bed.

“BUT GIVE ME A GIRL WHO WILL WRIGGLE AND WILL TWIST.” He groans, and one hand gropes for a blanket, which she passes to him. He mumbles a thank you and a moment later stands, tying the blanket around his waist.

Growling and muttering under his breath, he stalks around to the other side of the bed.

“AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BELLY LIES THE CUCKOOS NEST.”

He finds his sword under her skirt, both having been quickly discarded when they got back after sneaking away from the party last night, and unsheathes it with a grin.

“MY DARLING, SAYS SHE, I AM INNOCENT AND YOUNG”

He looks quite mad with his hair tousled from sleep, unshaven and wearing only a blanket tied around his waist, and she smiles.

“Don't kill anyone we can't replace,” she reminds him, and he gives her an annoyed look only to sigh and nod after a moment.

“AND I SCARCELY CAN BELIEVE YOUR FALSE DELUDING TONGUE.” Ezra's eyes narrow at the extra emphasis they added to the last three words.

“Very well. However, vengeance will be served.” He lifts his sword again, light glinting off the mirror-bright surface, and she's quite pleased with the way his arm and chest flex as he hefts the weapon.

“Don't be too long,” she murmurs, and he grins.

When he throws the door open the men standing there singing at the top of their lungs scream and scatter, JD actually falling through the doorway at Ezra's feet. Ezra looks at him with disdain, primly stepping over him before breaking into a run after Vin and Chris, the only two still singing the bloody song. JD lifts his head after a moment, cautiously peeking into the hallway to make sure they're all gone before glancing into the room and turning bright red at the sight of her sitting up in bed, albeit covered by a mound of blankets. She grins at him and waves. Face still red, he sheepishly waves back before scrambling to his feet and beating a hasty retreat, closing the door behind him.

She has to laugh as she lies back. This is ridiculous and yet so, so typical.

A few seconds later she hears more singing outside, and after only a moment finds a blanket to wrap herself in and goes to the window, opening it so she can lean out and see what's going on.

Nathan, Josiah and Buck are all standing quite solemnly under her window holding books, from which they appear to be singing.

“-and to soften her sorrows with nine times a night.” She grins and waves, and they smile and all wave back, continuing to sing.

“She was favoured by fortune the very next day,  
These two giggling saw him coming her way”

Not giggling but calling for mercy, Vin and Chris come tearing out of the castle and into the courtyard where the three more sedate singers stand serenading her, chased by a blanket-clad Ezra who is swinging his sword at the erstwhile bards with abandon. While Buck, Nathan and Josiah keep a wary eye on the proceedings, they don't seem inclined to move, and Ezra is too intent on his task of seeking revenge upon his quarry to notice them. Vin and Chris, now having room to maneuver outside of the castle halls, split up and Ezra predictably follows Vin out of the courtyard, knowing full well he was the ringleader.

“Jack trimmed her sails five times and that pleased her quite well,  
She vowed herself she was satisfied quite  
But she still gives sly hints about nine times a night.”

Just as the boys in the courtyard finish the song and she grins and gives them a round of applause she hears Vin's pounding footsteps come down the corridor, and he bursts in a moment later, breathing heavily and grinning, half-closing the door behind himself.

“Ma'am,” he murmurs, nodding, before climbing past her and out the window, clinging to the side of the wall like a squirrel and scampering down before leaping down and into the ready and waiting arms of the others. Half a second later Ezra bursts in, out of breath, blanket askew but still hanging in there, sword still in his hand.

“VIN TANNER!” he roars, which makes her grin even wider.

He deflates when he sees Vin safely on the ground outside, both because of his fear for the other man's safety and the knowledge that he's not going to catch him now, or at least not today. The rest of the boys, all standing in the courtyard, wave before breaking into a rousing final verse of Cuckoo's Nest.

“This couple they got married and soon they went to bed  


And now this pretty fair maid has lost her maidenhead  
In a small country cottage they increase and do their best  
And he often claps his hand to her cuckoo's nest!”

They finish with a rousing cheer, substantially added to by all the spectators who had gathered, no doubt drawn by the boys chasing each other through the whole castle and the noise. And she laughs and leans against Ezra, hiding her face in his bare shoulder, sure she's blushing as red as JD.

“I am going to kill them all,” Ezra says simply, and she pokes him in the ribs.

“Don't you dare. We get even instead.” He nods and they grin down at the people assembled in the courtyard. She kisses him, which just makes the cheering get even louder.  


“Starting tomorrow.”


	3. Harry Potter Profs

Ezra's alarm jolts her from sleep, and they both groan.

“I thought you fixed it, shut it UP,” she mumbles into his pillow and she feels him grope for his wand to do just that, though it takes far too long and the end result is the clock crashing against the wall rather than just turning off.

She can hear the distant sounds of the students talking on their way to breakfast outside, though only faintly, and it is so tempting to just go back to sleep. But she has to make an appearance at breakfast, and not just because she'll be very hungry once she's actually woken up enough to notice, and then she has lessons to teach.

“I'm gonna kill Vin,” she mutters as she rolls over to face the day and an already-dozing Ezra, who blinks, takes a moment to process what she'd said, and then nods supportively.

“After he's paid you,” he reminds her, voice rough with sleep, and she sighs.

“I dunno, before's looking pretty good.”

“At least wait until a more civilized hour so you can enjoy it properly.”

“I s'pose.”

She sighs one more time before forcing herself to roll out of bed and grab her wand. Her clothes obediently come to her, arranging themselves helpfully on the bed, and she pulls on her pants with a groan. Ezra, awake for the moment, takes the opportunity to draw patterns on her back, and she nearly falls off the bed when she tries to twist away. When she's finally dressed and still sitting upright she reaches her hands over her head and stretches until she feels something pop and leans over to give Ezra a kiss. However, she is so close to the wonderful softness of blankets and pillows again she makes the mistake of letting herself relax against Ezra with a groan.

“I don't wanna get up.”

“What sane person does?”

“Vin,” she reminds him, and he shudders theatrically. Of all the staff, he's the only genuine morning person. He is always up before dawn, which begs the question of when he actually sleeps, since he's up in the Astronomy Tower at all hours. She's pretty sure he's solar powered, and Ezra refuses to take bets.

“But are we that sure that he is indeed sane?”

“No one in this bloody school is, that's what makes it so much fun. And what sane person could cope with a poltergeist, a couple hundred hormonally charged magical teenagers and a reporter hanging about all the time trying to make trouble?”

“And the students intent on making themselves a legacy that eclipses both the Marauders and the Golden Trio.”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me. Shit, I have patrol tonight.” She groans again, shoving her face deeper into the welcoming warmth of Ezra's chest.

“As does JD, I believe.”

“Good. We always finish early. I don't see why we don't just seal up the dormitories at least some of the time.”

“Potential for emergencies and the students being unable to get help. And it builds character, sneaking around the school at night and getting caught.”

“I know, but I want to sleep. And I think they have enough character at this point. Penelope whatshername nearly blew up her desk in my class yesterday. And I was doing a theory lecture. There were no wands involved. That girl sneezes and something catches fire.”

“There is a precedent for such things,” Ezra says mildly, and she lifts her head enough to glare at him before letting it fall back with a thump that makes him groan.

“Sleep,” she says firmly, and he lets her lie there for a long moment before gently poking her in the ribs.

“You have to go to breakfast, darlin'.” She sighs and sits up, rubbing her eyes.

“See you at lunch?” He nods, gives her a kiss, and she makes sure to cast a don't-notice-me charm before opening his door.

There aren't enough students out of their dorms just yet to make getting to her quarters difficult, but when she does she still closes the door behind her with a relieved sigh. She didn't mind helping Vin keep his unusually difficult Gryffindor-Slytherin Astronomy class in line at all, but the morning after is not fun.

Ezra does not make an appearance at breakfast, usual. It would only be remarked upon if he did show up at breakfast at this point. Vin gives her a sheepish grin before thanking her again for her help last night, which softens her instantly as he well knows. They discuss the time and location for the agreed-upon flying lessons he had traded for her assistance, but get sidetracked by the looks some fifth-year Hufflepuffs are sending them, which amuses both of them to no end. Naturally both are noted by Mary at the other end of the table, well away from Chris who seeks respite wherever he can, and who mutters something about matchmakers and Dementors under his breath when he thinks no one can hear him.

JD and Josiah are deep in conversation over what appears to be a tablet of the electronic variety, which they keep tapping at. It must had developed some sort of glitch. They're trying to get certain types of technology to function while interacting with magic rather than using it as a power source or by shielding it, with limited success. Some Ravenclaws had mastered converting calculators, even graphing ones, some years ago, but the same method doesn't seem to work quite so well on more complicated devices.

Nathan and Raine are giggling and giving each other eyes, so Nathan doesn't see Buck and Vin heap ridiculously large portions of the least healthy foods on offer onto their plates. Buck can always brew himself a potion against indigestion, she's sure he's done it before and will again to avoid bothering Nathan, and the lecture that comes with his help when the pain is self-inflicted.

She smiles into her goblet as there's a shriek at the Hufflepuff table as Penelope nearly sets a classmate's robes on fire and the 'tut' from Mary as Chris stands to douse the flames and deal with tempers running high as exams approach, Chris's lips thinning as he passes Mary.

She has a bet with Ezra that Chris loses his temper and kicks her out of Hogwarts before the end of the month, no matter what Orrin says, and it looks like they're well on track.


	4. Star Trek

She wakes up quickly, the hum of the ship's engines accompanying the fragments of dreams shredding like fog – starfields and endless lines of uniforms and long bright hallways and the never ending hum of the engines as they streak past stars and planets.

She curls closer to Ezra even though she can feel her cheeks are already pink with heat, despite the light blanket, snuggling so close she's almost lying under him. He wakes up just enough to let her wiggle under his shoulder, exhales in exasperation and doesn't wake up any further. She likes having weight on her when she sleeps and he likes to be 'properly warm', which is somehow a state impossible to obtain by blankets or company alone, so they compromise. He loses a little sleep when she uses him as a blanket, she takes cold showers to cool down, and neither complain. They had tried using all the blankets they could get their hands on and lowering the thermostat, but someone inevitably got tangled in them and fell out of bed or something equally disastrous. Or he stole all the blankets and ended up curled on one end of the bed under a mound and her, blanketless, on the other.

But really the sleeping arrangements are the least of their problems. As in most good relationships, they have far larger problems than the thermostat and blankets, or lack thereof.

As she's drifting off again the com chimes and she and Ezra groan in perfect sync.

“Good morning to you two too,” Chris says, voice dry, and they groan again in response, though she can feel Ezra's chest shake with his amusement.

“Tha's catchy,” she slurs, mouth still asleep. “Shu' put it t'music.”

Chris 'hrmph's. “Rise and shine, sleeping beauties. We've got work to do.”

“No we don',” she mumbles, wiggling further under Ezra, and she hears Chris chuckle over the com. “Don' got nuthin' t'do 'cep sleep.” Ezra mumbles something and her sleepy giggle carries over the com, though only faintly. “An' that. Later.”

“You two have a meeting in a hour,” Chris reminds them.

“Pull t'other one.”

“You don't get up I'll send JD to unlock that door and Josiah to haul you out of bed.”

“Lord have mercy,” Ezra drawls, the first intelligible thing he's said so far.

“Won't.”

“And neither will I.”

“Balls,” she mutters, and several people listening to the exchange on Chris's end laugh.

“Up. Now.”

She mutters something even less polite and Ezra makes a noise. “Oh hush.”

“Are you getting up?” One of them mumbles something that is obviously negative. “Do I have to send someone to get you?”

“ _No._ ”

“Captain Larabee, I think it's in everyone's best interests-”

“Up. _Now._ ” Chris ends the connection before Ezra can talk him into moving the meeting to a 'more civilized hour', ignoring the fact that there is no 'civilized hour' in space except that which is dictated by your schedule since there isn't actually any day or night, and it's Ezra's own fault his schedule disagrees with everyone else's, and she grins.

“Still haveta get up.”

“Mmmm.”

“He'll yell if we're late.”

“Hmm.”

“He'll send Josiah in if we don't get up.”

“Mm.”

“Do we really want Josiah to haul us out of bed?"

“Mm-mm.”

“He'll send Nathan if he's really annoyed.”

“Mmm.”

“I don't want Nathan to drag me out of bed naked.”

“Who exactly are you trying to convince to get up?”

“Both of us. It's not working. Convince me.”

“I'll risk it.”

“Bastard,” she says affectionately, and he nods.

“Mm hmm. Sleeeep.”

“M'k."

It's perhaps two minutes later that the com chimes again.

“UP,” Chris shouts, and she yelps and tries to sit up, fails, but shifts Ezra enough that he nearly falls off the edge of the bed and ends up clinging to the edge, green eyes wide, for a long moment before slipping off the edge, settling onto the floor with a long groan.

She starts laughing and can't stop long enough to actually hear what Chris is saying, and Ezra refuses to move from his heap on the floor, arm slung across his eyes on a martyred gesture.

When her laughter has finally died she sighs, giggles a little more, and sighs again.

“Fuck now I have to pee,” she mutters, leaning over the bed to poke Ezra in the ribs. “C'mon sleepy. Up and at them. Whoever 'they' may be today. Time to explore some planets and destroy a society's illusion of their own importance in the cosmic order.”

He raises a hand, pointing at the ceiling as he readies himself to make a point.

“What is real occurs regardless of its relationship with the symbolic order and worldview of a society.”

“Yes, but if you take a more subjective viewpoint you can say that it wasn't-”

On the bridge, Chris shakes his head and glances around at the others with a wry smile. Trust them to go from giggles to philosophy at this hour, and before they're even awake.


	5. ATF

She wakes up alone, and sits up in confusion.

The room is simple, walls painted white, and she can see a green back yard out the window. She reaches for the bedside table, opening the drawer just enough to see that the gun is there as she remembers. He's hidden others, of course, but that's the most convenient. She's never felt comfortable with having a gun under a pillow, and he conceded that it was probably not the best idea when she had moved in – it's now mounted on the back of the headboard, out of sight but within reach. The smell of something cooking in the kitchen reminds her that Ezra is here, back for the first time in weeks after an undercover assignment.

She lies back down and rolls over to look at the clock. 7:03. He must still be on whatever weird schedule he'd been keeping while undercover to be conscious at this hour, much less making food. But he'd also gone to bed really early after the bust since he'd been up for ages, so it's probably a bit of both.

Still lying down, she stretches until she feels like she's stretched every muscle in her body and lies boneless for a moment, enjoying the sensation. Sighing, she rolls out of bed and pads into the kitchen.

Ezra's making pancakes, and she hugs him from behind, resting her forehead between his shoulder blades and closing her eyes. His hand rests on her arm and he strokes her wrist. They stand there for a minute until he taps the back of her hand and she lets go so he can put the cooked pancakes in the oven to stay warm. When he straightens again she steps back into her previous position, rubbing her face against his back like a cat. They do this maneuver several times before he taps her wrist in a different pattern and she steps clear.

He's made an absolutely huge plate of pancakes, and she raises her eyebrows. He shrugs and she smiles, shaking her head. Silly goose.

They eat sitting side by side, and several times she leans over to rest her head on his shoulder or shifts slightly so her thigh is against his and glances at him in time to see the corner of his mouth twitch. By the end of the meal she's bumping against his arm just to try and get him to laugh, smiling around her mouthful of pancake.

_Now?_ she asks when they're done, and he shrugs.

_You?_ he asks, deferring, and she starts to grin and he rolls his eyes.

“You are twelve.” She nods enthusiastically and steps closer to him, squeezing his waist and rubbing her face against his chest like a cat.

She steps back long enough to sign _Missed you_ and see him start to smile before hugging him again.

“I missed you too, kitten,” he murmurs, and she rubs her cheek against his chest, where she can feel the words.


	6. Robin Hood

She wakes up to the smell of woodsmoke and the pleasant contrast between cool air and warm blankets.

The bed is hardly big enough for the two people snuggled up in it, of whom she's one, so she doesn't roll over but just presses herself closer to Ezra as memories of learning to use a bow and watching him spar with Josiah with a quarterstaff and pretending to be a Lady so they could find out when the Sheriff was sending the next shipment of tax money through the forest because the boys make ugly women wander through her mind.

“She's awake!” someone calls below, and Ezra groans.

“Why did you have to wake up?” he murmurs, and she sighs.

“I'm sorry. Tonight you can bash me over the head and sleep in.” He shakes his head, nuzzling into the back of her neck and her hair.

“Mm-mm. I'd be up all night worrying about you.”

“That's sweet.”

“Mmm.”

There's the creaking of ropes and a pulley and the slight shifting of leaves and a branch and she turns her head enough to see what's going on in time to see Vin's head pop over the edge of the platform. He's grinning.

“Sheriff's due today,” he says, and Ezra groans. Vin grins wider and continues. “S'posed to be a big haul. An' Buck wants to bag a boar.” Messages delivered, he vanishes down the tree and it's her turn to groan as she rolls over, Ezra pillowing his head on her chest.

“That boy's going to get himself killed.”

“Mmm.”

“We should probably stop him.”

“He's a big boy.” He nestles deeper into her chest and she starts playing with his hair, eyes drifting closed.

“True enough."

They get up a short while later, when the noise below gets too much and there's the smell of food cooking on the breeze as well as smoke from the cook fires. She stands on their platform braiding her hair out of the way, already dressed, and he hugs her from behind and nuzzles her neck, obviously still partially asleep. She chases him back into what passes for inside to get dressed before she descends and pads over to the big fire to get some breakfast.

The others are milling around. Buck's loudly detailing his plan to get a boar, which has several gaping holes in it because he's not really taking it seriously yet, Josiah's chopping wood a little ways off, and Vin and Chris are obviously figuring out a strategy for the day's ambush.

She digs her toes into the earth and smiles, straightening her back and turning her face towards the sky.

She stands like that for a long few minutes before she hears JD say her name followed by a tentative “Um, you're sprouting.” She cracks an eye open and pulls her bare feet from the earth, smiling and shaking off the flowers that were beginning to grow there.

“Thank you.”

“Welcome.”

“Did Chris and Vin say when we're going?”

“Soon, I think?” She nods and scales the tree that houses the platform Ezra's still on.

She finds him lying face down on their bed, and sighs.

“Do you really want me to get Josiah up here to give you a lecture on the evils of sloth?” He grumbles something into the blankets and she reaches a slightly dirty foot forward to tickle his clean one. That gets him moving and she laughs as he chases her out of their little treehouse, returning moments later to retrieve her bow and arrows and hat to tuck her hair under.

“Come on, love. Time to rob the rich bastards of their linen undergarments.”

“Really? _Really?_ ”

“Oh just come on. We can argue about my limitations and tact later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, this was supposed to be a Robin Hood or Merry Men AU, with some forest-spirit/god overtones? I don't even know any more, and I don't have the energy or inspiration to edit it into something different. Make of it what you will.


	7. Pirates

The sea stinks, and she means that in every way possible as the sway of the ship nearly tips her out of the hammock, water sloshing somewhere too close for comfort.

And she says as much to Ezra, but he's still fast asleep, the bastard. Glowering to herself, she shifts to get a little less uncomfortable and tries to fall back asleep. She has no idea what time it is, doesn't want to know, and intends to get what sleep she can while she can.

She thinks she's going to succeed until she hears Chris yelling on deck.

“Maybe if we ignore him he'll go away,” Ezra whispers, and she nods and buries her face in him.

This strategy does not work. Chris continues to bellow, and after a while it is even directed at them.

“Oh fuck you captain!” she yells back after a while, when she can no longer take lying in the dark and hoping to be left alone by a captain who has no intention of leaving them alone. Judging by the general hilarity this causes on deck, they might get at least a short respite.

However, it is _short_. 

Chris storms down the stairs with a glare that she knows full well has to be hiding a smile somewhere in there or they'd be dead, and flips the hammock.

“Bastard,” she moans, lying half on the floor and partially on Ezra, who is also groaning.

“Yes I am,” agrees Chris, ridiculously cheerful, and leaves.

“I'm gonna kill him,” she tells Ezra.

“Now that's mutiny.”

“If we all do it it's just a change of command.”

"I'll see what I can do.”


End file.
